Potions
“I’m not obsessed with drinking poisons!” states visibly poisoned man, holding a beaker full of poison in each hand and oscillating between them to take big selfish gulps before seeing and coveting the beaker not currently being sipped from
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This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but itβs also kind of an amazing two-line poem? βHis Wife has filled his house with chintzβ is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and βchintzβ is a perfect word choice hereβsonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then βto keep it real I fuck him on the floorβ collapses that whole mood with short percussive soundsβbut itβs still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: βfuck him on the floor.β The use of βchintzβ is indeed great word choice.
Because Iβm insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of βkeep it realβ juxtaposed with βchintz.β It causes me to interpret the βchintzβ more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of βfuck,β which is a contrast with βchintzβ but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where βchintzβ is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is βfilled with chintzββsomething that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with βkeep it real.β
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wifeβs marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something βreal.β Thatβs a story, and itβs just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, yβall. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
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